[	Current Location	|	home:OFIJej;afie	]
[	mood	|	happy	]
[	music	|	television.	]

 SUNY Cortland camp was amazing.
I dormed with Brittany & we had a lot of fun.
She let me push our beds together, because I didn't want to sleep all by myself on the OTHER side of the room.
Basically, my teams full of a bunch of assholes.
LOL.
Me, Brit, Al, and Sam all snuck out past cerfew and went and had a slumber party with our "coaches" (the cortland field hockey players).
It was so much fun, I'm happy i'll always remember it.
OH AND I'LL NEVER FORGET...
 THE FACT THAT I GOT A YELLOW CARD AT CAMP.
oh really?! for pushing a girl down? get over it.
COME ON NOW.
it was funny though, i'm not even going to lie.
or, the fact that i got hit in the boob with a stick, not just a hit a fucking whale in the boob. I HAVE A BRUISE AND IT KILLS! Jamie missed the fucking ball and just full out baseball swinged. no joke.
Playing with other girls really helped me improve...Which leads to another good outcome...
The coach from Cortland (Wetmore) came up to me before I left, and asked ME to come play for HER NEXT YEAR. 
STOP.
EMBRACE.
LAUREN'S GOING TO COLLEGE?!?
AT a really good school?!
NO SHIT.
hopefully she pulls things through with admissions and gets me in, because i have an 80avg, hopefully i go in on special talent.
The girls on the team are SO awesome and are all such amazing players.
There's no doubt in my mind that I don't want to go there.
I had so much fun, they're a really amazing team. 
BUT, HOLY SHIT.
She wants me to stay there this fall, in the dorms with the team to get to know them & then go and watch a game.
THIS IS ALL SO SUREAL.
My dream is finally coming true.
She told me that I have a lot of talent and that I would work well with these girls.
HOW EXCITING.
She also basically said that I would be playing and not just sitting on the bench. Which was totally awesome. I am seriously the happiest girl ever, no one could understand.
Just a month ago, I thought I was going to throw field hockey down the drain once i got to college and attend good ol' NCC.
hopefully not.

I leave for Nazareth tomorrow to go practice with my Empires team before the Empire State Games.
I'll be gone Saturday-Sunday.
empire state games = 27th-30th, SO SOON.

on a much more serious note. 
i am pissed.
I CAN'T GO TO THE BEACH TODAY.
FUCK WORK.

okok, now that all that excitedness is all out of my finger-tips!!
peace fucking out.

[	mood	|	sweaty.	]
[	music	|	just the television.	]

My boyfriend comes back from Alaska in a day.
I love my brother, a lot.
haha.
I love sitting on my dads kitchen floor...talking.
i love playing with my phaggot friends.
I love going to the beach & having two hot friends who get the custom man's number instead of getting asked any questions.
I LOVE THE BEACH.
4TH OF JULY = SPENDING IT AT THE BEACH.
I miss my old beach-goers & we need to get back into that habit again.
Empires is neat.
I have Field Hockey camp in Cortland the 8th-12th, THEN I leave for Nazarath to practice there, & team bonding the 15th til the 17th I'm pretty sure. Then, I have the Empire State Games the 26th-30th.
This is all pretty exciting.
Dorming with Brittany in Cortland, oh jesus.
hahahahaha, this should be interesting.
I don't want to go to work, I hate work.

peace fucking out.

[	mood	|	sleepy	]
[	music	|	Travis Trit(t)?	]

This past week I:

Made the Empire State Games for Field Hockey.
That has to be one of my biggest accomplishments so far in my life.
Playing with such amazing girls is seriously such an honor too.
And knowing that I will be contributing to this sweet team is an even bigger honor.
I went to a meeting for it tonight and it's pretty amazing.

I didn't have to work this week, but I do have work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday...
...WONDERFUL!
not.

My cousin came in from the Marines and stayed with us for a bit.
He's leaving for Japan in a few weeks for 2 years.
OUCH.

Monday was my last day of school.
Which also ment, party in Alden that night.
With people I love partying with most.
Alden is becoming my new favorite place.
Even if it is just a HUNK of land!  :0)

Tonight at the Tim Hortins Drive-Thru my step mom told the boy that Rachel and I were single.
AS SOON AS SHE SAID THAT, Rachel screamed that she was pregnant, and I screamed that I had STD's.
It was SO BAD.
ELOHEL.

Friday night equals bonfire at Jon's house.
Then, that night he has to sleep over my house.
Because, he's driving my parents to the Air Port in the morning.
...Which means, PARENTS OUT OF TOWN.
Thank the friggen Lord.

Now, I have to finish my resume for Empires & Colleges.
I think I'll post it for any advice or criticism.
Because, in reality, most of the people who read this have made it to college & have already gone through this bull shit.
THANK YOUUU.

I NEED THE BEACH!

Oh and I MISS MY DOG.
:0(

kpeace.

Lauren M. Bordonaro    

ADDRESS&STUFF            

E-Mail: Commando_Lauren @msn.com

High School:                                                                                        Personal:

Starpoint High School                                                      Birthday: 2/22/89

4363 Mapleton rd                                                                                Height: 5 1’’

Lockport, N.Y. 14094                                                        Weight: 120lbs

(716) 210-2300

GPA: 80%                                                                                            Honors & Recognition 2005-2006:

Graduating Year: 2007                                                                       Class Co-President

                                                                                                                Principals Advisory Committee

                                                                                                                Dale Carnage/Leadership Program

                                                                                                               Outstanding Achievement in Math                                                                                 

Field Hockey Honors:

2005: Empire State Candidate, 2^ND Team All-League ECIC, Top 10 Scorer in WNY, Most Valuable Offense Award, led in assists. I have started every game since 8^th grade and led in minutes played.

2004: 1st Team All-League ECIC, Most Valuable Offense Award, Lead Scorer, and Led in assists.

2003: Most Valuable Offense Award, Honorable Mention in All-League, 2^nd leading scorer, and also in assists, USFHA Futures player.

2002: [JV] - MVP Award, at the end of my 8^th grade season, I respectively moved up to Varsity for sectionals.

2001: [JV] - First year of playing Field Hockey, Most Improved Player Award.

Camps: Sweet Home 2002 & 2003. Attending Cortland camp, summer of 06’.

Other Sports Interests:

2002-2006: JV & Varsity Basketball. JV -2005, Most Improved Player.

2003-2006: Varsity Track Athlete. 100m, 200m, 4x1, 05’-06’ Sectional Qualifiers for the 4x1 relay.

-Played soccer every summer for PLYSA Toros.

-Honorably this year, I was chosen to participate in the Penn State Relays for the girls 4x1 relay.

Work Experience: Currently Employed at Wegmans & Babysitting.

Goals: I desire to contribute not only to my high school team in fall of ’06, but also aspire to be a student athlete.  Accordingly, I am committed to the exemplary conduct of the University’s expectations, as I strive toward higher education within the physical education profession.  Furthermore, I seek to make those within my extended family proud of both my accomplishments, and the efforts upon which such successes will be based.  Although I have been involved in sports my entire life, I am fortunate to be a 4 seasoned athlete.  Despite living in a rural community, I have had the opportunity to excel in Field Hockey.  I did not derive my success purely from natural ability but from a hard work philosophy emphasized by my parents.


(...and these are the pictures I'm putting at the top of my resume, because they're manditory.)

(they appear much larger)

[	Current Location	|	;joij	]
[	mood	|	sad	]
[	music	|	;oij;i	]

Today, I wish I could re-wind time, and go back to 12 o'clock.
Go back in time, before my mom told me it was time to go...that we "had to go".
So far back in time, so that I could hide him, and not let him leave.
So she would search frantically for him and realize that I was going to put up a fight and that she should just realize that he can't go yet.
I wish I could go back to the beginning of the week where she gave me the horrible news, so I could pretend I didn't hear it.
It's like I've been in acoma for the past 3 days, because all I could think about was the last time I'm going to see my dog.
Now, don't get me wrong, he was sick.
He was so sick that he couldn't get up and down the stairs, shook every 10 seconds, peed everywhere, had kidney failure, and tumors on his tummy, half deaf, half blind, barley barked, and circled everywhere he went in the house.
He would never let you pick him up, and now he did.
That everytime you touched him in a certain area, he'll make a grumbling sound and at that point in time, you knew not to pet him there.
That, he couldn't eat a full Mighty Pack anymore, even if you tried to force him, he could only eat half.
But, let's go on a more realistic note; he was my dog for 13 years, and I wanted him til every last second.
He was the longest living Schnowzer and has been through so much, and was turning 17 years old.
He has been through more than any other dog, or at least I think.
Stolen, ran away, dodged cars, eaten by Cleo + surviving, tumors getting removed, half a paw, skin disease when he was a baby because his first owner sucked, that's why we got him, getting in fights with other dogs, fighting cancer, & more.
We had to put him to sleep today.
Honestly, I wasn't sure if I should have gone.
But, I had to.
He looked so peaceful and out of pain though, so I guess that put me at ease.
I had to be there, so he knew I was there til the end, til every last second. 
That I was only doing this for the better of him, and to let him go with a little bit of dignity.
I held his paw til every last second and kissed his head a million times.
I loved him with more than anything of me, and I know he knew it.
That, it wasn't o.k. that he had tumors everywhere, and that his back legs giving out wasn't a good sign, at all.
It was the worst thing I have or ever will have to do in my life.
EVER.
I've been crying 3 days straight.
To a point where I couldn't control it in public and would just break down.
To a point to where I'd come home, and just lay under the table with him.
He knew what was going on, I know he did.
He tried to make me feel better too, I know it.
This week, my second bed was a sleeping bag next to his bed, and a night light for the both of us.
Kissing his head multiple times.
I honestly thought that the more times I kissed his head, the longer it would keep him alive, the longer he would have to live and be o.k. but I was wrong, and I wish I wasn't//just this once.
I seriously miss the fuck out of him. 
He was my dude, my best friend, he made me feel o-k when my parents would go out for the night, and I would be home alone, and him just sleeping in my room with me would be the best feeling of security there was.
I don't know what I'm going to do with out him.
I don't know what to do.
I'm seriously the sadest girl ever.
I just miss him so much.
My heart seriously hurts.
[I love and miss you Carlos.]
[you were my family & nothings the same with out you.]
[I look under the table and wish you were there, and open my door hoping your little head will pop up and come sniffing me as soon as I walk in.]
[you were the best fucking dog a girl could ask for.]
Love, 
Your Best Friend.